whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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