I'm going to jail i love you
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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