There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
