I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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