The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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