Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love having hate sex.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
