great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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