you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
