She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am one with the molecules
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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