I think I died a long time ago.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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