I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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