You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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