This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
