Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
