I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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