so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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