I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
