if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
