i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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