Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
