I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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