I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
