It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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