Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
