Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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