Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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