you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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