The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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