I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
