i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
