My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
