I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
