I want to walk on stilts...naked
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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