Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
