I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
