so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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