Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
