she was so not down for the gang bang
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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