he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
