I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
