What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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