You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
