so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
