thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
