Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He better not be in your backpack
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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