Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
