me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
