i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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