Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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