don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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