Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
