the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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