Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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