i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
